The Hinged Door

Have you ever thought of a hinge on a door? They do quite a bit for something so small. Doors are hundreds of times bigger than these small attachments, as well as many pounds heavier. It's amazing what they accomplish. One little movement can change a whole outcome of something; either opening or closing a door. And this goes the same for our choices. Some of the smallest choices can make the biggest changes. Although the choice that I made wasn't what I would call a "small" decision, but it was easier to make than I thought and I know it will make a HUGE change in my life.


What is this decision you may be asking? Here it comes; some of you may gasp. But first, this is a semi extension of the "What's Done Is Done" post; it has to do about decision making and how I'm learning about things. I have dropped Interior Design as my major. Yup. I dropped ID (Interior Design) about 2-3 weeks ago and let me tell you, life is so much better. Some of you may be wondering why I did such a thing, but there is a reasonable explanation; I'll try and tell you quickly.

Well, I went into the major and loved it. It was really hard at times, but I pushed though. After finishing my first year, I was a little hesitant going back for my second year, but I did it. Then as many of you know, after my second year, I did NOT want to go back. I failed a class due to my teacher giving me a zero on a project that I turned in an hour late and it was worth about 55-60% of my grade. That was a bad summer. I was hard for me to breath at times due to the stress. Anyway, things lined out the way they needed to. I was able to take some Junior classes and retake the class I failed. This last summer was fine. I did the research I needed to do, but I should have done more. Quickly, the junior class that I was now with is SUPER competitive and they were zooming by on their projects. And there was me, stuck, having hardly any inspiration from my project. I would get inspired and then get stuck again.

So, with all that and thinking back on my feelings on ID, they were usually negative with some good mixed within it. What made me think about dropping the major was just that, my feelings. I was talking to some of my friends about my life and when they would bring up dance or cooking or what ever else, I would get excited. But with ID, I would get all nervous and hesitant. Not so good. This continued the thinking. If I was feeling this way about ID, it must not be right, especially after I would get that feeling year after year. I should be excited about what I loved and I wasn't. I should also have a passion for what I was doing and I didn't. Something I realized that's said in my patriarchal blessing is that I would know what I must do though feelings. Now this is a good hint as to what I should do. All this thinking had been ongoing, but it was finally made apparent to me that I truly wanted to drop my major, even after so many years of being in the program.


So the next day, Friday, after my first class I went to the temple to do baptisms to see if I could get some answers. Let me just tell you that was a day of revelation. While waiting, I kept feeling the need to turn to Alma 32. I went there and there was my answer. It was edifying. This is where it speaks of faith and how it's not to have a perfect knowledge of things. One verse that stuck me the most was verse 27; "...and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you..." Then it continues to tell of planting a seed in your heart and if this seed be good it will swell within you. And that's exactly what happened. I knew then that my thoughts/feelings of dropping ID was the right thing to do. It really was an amazing feeling. I was truly so happy after leaving the temple...even if I was at the beginning symptoms of the Swine Flu. ;)

I wanted more confirmation (it's not like I was having a lack of faith on the previous answer that I got, I just needed to be absolutely positive that this was the right thing to do, seeing as how this was a HUGE decision about my education) so I went to the temple again the next morning. Again, same confirmation, but not as awe inspiring as the day before, but still an answer to my prayers. I read an amazing talk by Elder Wirthlin that gave me a good outlook on life. Everyone should read it. I really is a great talk; "Come What May, and Love It." I have one of his points down with super ease, can you guess which one?! haha ;D

So I had my answer and I was sticking with it. I made an appointment with my ID teacher on Wednesday (I postponed it til then because I had hardcore Swine Flu and he is a germaphobe.) It went great. I told him that I was dropping because ultimately I didn't have a passion for what I should love doing. I told him that I felt like I wouldn't be doing ID my whole life, but rather I would be doing something more like interior decorating or space planning (staging.) Also I felt like I got what I needed out of the program. I knew the basics of construction methods and remodeling. I felt like that was a good enough knowledge because I have plenty of construction knowledge in my family. And I also received a knowledge of products, design, history, and much more. From this semester (Fall 2009) on, it was stuff that I felt like I didn't need and I didn't want to put myself thought stress I didn't want. He agreed that I shouldn't be doing something that I didn't absolutely love and he gave me other great words of advice. That's why I love Brother McRae. He's totally your advocate. I actually heard from a girl I have class with that's an ID senior that while she was talking to Bro. McRae, he said he was sad that I was dropping and he thought that I had good potential. That's a great thing to hear. :)

Well, it's been 3 weeks since I've dropped and I'm about ready to turn in my paperwork for my new major. I'll be doing University Studies (I have 111 credits so it would be stupid not to graduate with a bachelors and there is no way I could pick up a different major and get done in a decent amount of time.) So that will be my major, then I will have a minor in dance, and 2 clusters (like a smaller minor), one in dance, and I'm not sure about the other, possibly something fitness related (if I'm planning on doing more marathons, picking up cycling, doing some triathlons, and what ever else, I figure I should know what I'm doing and I can apply it to dance as well.) If I get accepted into the major I should be done in 2 semesters. I have 6-8 credits left for my major, 4 left for my minor, 0 for my ID cluster, and then 12-14 for my other cluster. Plan is to continue winter semester as usual and then see if they will let me finish in the summer. Then I'll be all graduated! Kinda scary, but most my roommates/friends will be graduating in the summer, so I don't want to be on my own.

I'm excited for my new adventure. It's been a crazy semester thus far, but I've learned more than I think I ever have. I have faith that I've made the right decision. If not, then I'll be learning some great lessons. I'm grateful for all of your support throughout the years. All of you never falter to put a smile on my face and build me up.

"Come What May, and [I'll] Love It."