Amidst eating my Cream of Wheat with a pinch of brown sugar and a dollop of fat-free raspberry jam (try it, it's really good,) I thought I would share some thoughts of mine I had this morning:
While coming back from my triathlon training early this morning, I was thinking about how I use to be shy. While in high school, I'll admit it, I really didn't have a lot of friends, if any really. I would even call them more of an acquaintance. I was deathly shy and I'm sure a lot of people thought I didn't like them. I was even told recently by one of my friends that they thought I hated them and this was very contrary to their thoughts; I was just that shy. I didn't know how to react to people and I didn't want to be myself because I thought I would make an idiot of myself. Totally insecure, I know, but there is no way I can change what happened back in those days than learn what I have. Anyway, getting to what I was thinking about. I found it interesting to whom I would call my acquaintances while at school. One being the class president who I had a couple classes with. He was outgoing, very smart, and he was one of the rare ones who may have seen a glimpse of my true side while at school. Another was the ultra liberal who always voiced her opinion, talked smack, and was incredible funny. I don't remember how we became "friends," but she was another who befriended me.
The other was a tech major for the theatre department, again super liberal, spoke his mind, drank/what have you (as well as the others I just mentioned,) but very kind. Are you seeing a pattern? Oh yeah! And I'm pretty sure everyone in the councilor's office knew me for who I was because I was an aid and able to let loose and speak my mind. And the last main one that I thought of was a girl that was on my dance team at my studio. One of the best dancers, everyone loved her, hilarious, loud, and kind as could be. She was one of the few, again, who saw my real personality. She was one of the ones (other than my cousins) who I could relax around because all the others seemed to be super uptight or I was just intimidated by. She saw my funny side and I could always make her laugh. She would always say, "Lydia is so funny!!" and I'm pretty sure everyone else was confused because they never saw that side of me.
Even my freshman year of college I as paired up with one of the loudest, most hilarious people in the dorms as my room-roommate, Miss Michelle Pray. I was quiet around the others at first, but when we would get in the room, I would talk her ear off. And that's why she is my best friend. She has seen where I have come from, helped me through my hardest days in my life, and I could care less if I made a buffoon out of myself in front of her. Did you catch what I am getting at? I don't know if they were just doing it to be nice, but those crazy kids in high school made be feel like I wasn't completely invisible. Now don't get me wrong, I still had people I would talk to in every class and actually had some good friendships, but these few I thought to be interesting why they would choose me to be their "friend." They are the few I keep in contact with. Even the past week when I sent out a note on Facebook where I needed (and still need) a response for an assignment, one of those people was one of the very first of the few, second to be exact, who actually answered me back. I am grateful for such people. There are many others that helped me get to where I am today and I wish to thank them all.
I am proud to say, as I have said before, I am no longer shy but myself. I can start up a convo with someone I have never met, make them laugh, and put a smile on their face. I pretty sure they will never remember me, but I love that I'm able to let my hair down, show my true colors, and make people happy, even for a moment. In fact, I even have to hold myself back at times. For example, when I'm at the library or gym while listening to my (example: number 15, 35, 52, 61, 78, 96, or 100 on my playlist) or others music, I have a tendency to sing or "rock out." That's what my room/apartment is for; I go crazy with the head bobbing, torso throwing, and just out-of-controlness. I don't want people to think I'm more of a crazy than I actually am...or, maybe I'll do it just once so I can see what reaction I get!! haha (I can see it now.) Anyway, there are those times when I may be quiet and looking at nothing, but this is because I am thinking. I always have something going on in my brain of mine. So if I seem quiet around you, it's probably because I have something on my mind, not because I don't find you interesting and have nothing to say. :)
That's all for now. Have a fabulous Wednesday, because I know I will! And remember to smile. :D
If this picture of my niece Olivia didn't make you smile,I really don't know what your problem is. ;)
3 comments:
Nice post Lyd! It's true, you were pretty darned shy Freshman year in 282. I would never think of you as being shy now though. However, Dustin never thought you were shy in college, so maybe it was just 1st semester?
Ok I LOVED your song!! Haha! There aren't any songs with Tacy in them except the song my friend James made up, "How do you tell Tacy you don't love her." Kind of a sad title :( I have found that I am less shy than I used to be but I still am not as un-shy as I'd like to be. Get what I mean?
You are a real butterfly now Miss Lydia. Sometimes I kept wondering if we could ever get your cocoon to crack, but it was worth the wait.
You should see Olivia's hair this morning!
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